THE FORGIVING MIRROR

With Summer of 2025 edits:

I'm on Day 4 of my Novena to the Holy Spirit.

This morning I'm also re-reading an article (Living Beyond My Wounds, by Sr. Fidelity Grace, SV). It is about Dutch Christian holocaust survivor Corrie Ten Boom, in IMPRINT Spring/2021, published by the Sisters of Life. I'm learning about Corrie's story of sexual shame at a Nazi concentration camp, and forgiveness.

What is surfacing as I read is my own experience of sexual shame as a teenager, and later with #MeToo. I stop on the phrase "humiliating medical examinations" and realize this article has become my Lectio Divina (holy reading) this morning. I know. This phrase doesn't sound great, but it's leading somewhere good, I promise. However, not before it leads me back through something bad. 

Pause. 

The "bad" is memories of the doctor who performed my abortion years ago. In my mind, I think I must have made him an evil Nazi doctor and me an innocent victim. I was not an innocent victim like Corrie Ten Boom--my baby was. Now with time, therapy, and grace-- I can see myself as a victim too, the doctor, my family, and others.

Breathe.

It strikes me that Corrie Ten Boom died around the same time (1983) that I was sent to Toronto to work in a minister's office at Queen' Park, where long story short-- a lot of bad stuff happened. I struggled for a long time with untreated trauma, nightmares and sexual shame. All of which can still rear its ugly head when I talk to certain people or see something on the news.

Breathe.

When I originally wrote this post in 2021, I didn't know if I would ever be able to live into the forgiving wrinkles of Corrie's beautiful, smiling, older face in that IMPRINT article.

But in the summer of 2025, I can see I have been doing that for awhile now.

You can't see me but I'm smiling!  

Cb
Amen

(For any references missed, credit goes to Corrie Ten Boom+, Sr. Antoniana, SV., Sisters of Life IMPRINT Magazine Spring / 2021, story by Sr. Fidelity Grace, SV., and Guideposts Magazine 1972, and to Sr. Consolata (2025).





Popular posts from this blog

STOPPED IN MY TRACKS

Image
SANTA SUBITO. Deep breath. Yesterday I learned in the best and gentlest way possible that my friend Gabbie passed away on January 12, 2025. It was Gabbie who encouraged me to start blogging during Covid-19 lockdowns in Toronto. I want to say more about my friend Gabbie and our connection through the Sisters of Life, but not right now. My heart is too full of love and joy and grief, and honestly just awe. I'm stopped in my tracks for now... I heard a song today during  Canada Day  celebrations that made me think of Gabbie. It's  I Believe in You , by Amanda Marshall:  Bing Videos . Gabbie believed in me and she loved Jesus so much-- both of which I benefitted from so much. Thanks Gabs💕 I don't know whether Gabbie will be put forward as a potential Catholic saint, I hope so. Gabbie and I actually never met in person but we shared the same taste in boots and hats. Our friendship began through an extraordinary snail mail adventure in the middle of covid lockdowns, it de...
Read more

MAKINGS OF A GOOD PRODIGAL DAUGHTER STORY

As I continue to sit with the question of whether or not to wrap up my blog at the end of the summer, I sit also with the story of the Prodigal Son . And like in the Prodigal Son , my blog  Stranded on the Mainland has it's roots in the loss of and longing for, home. Below are some mid-August thoughts on this: WHAT IF the daughter didn't want to leave home like the prodigal son did, what if she was sent to the city? What if she doesn't squander her "inheritance" at all, but is (unbeknownst to most, including herself) is amassing a treasure, a fortune, and spiritual inheritance, "one that protects her from nothing and sustains her in everything."--Jim Finley. WHAT IF it's the daughter who through therapy and grace brings back a new robe for her traumatized self to put on, a ring for her finger, and sandals for her feet? WHAT IF it's the daughter who's preparing the roast beef dinner? And the daughter rushing down the road to meet her true sel...
Read more

OPPOSING VALUES AND ADVENT HOPE

Image
Today I'm realizing something I never considered before: "How I as a straight, white, Christian woman-- being treated with fairness can feel like oppression." Wow. And flipping this over-- how oppression and mistreatment can feel like fairness and love. Wow. With that said, the prophetic talk below is not one I would typically think of as an Advent talk, but it is-- especially in 2025 in this world full of people who oppose each other's values. American democracy is bleeding out; now Canadian environmental guardrails are sadly beginning to fail. For those of us with e yes to see and ears to hear , this is a time of clashing and crashing values-- if our values were being traded on the stock market it would be 1920. We don't know where all this worldly chaos is heading, it's true. But we have the Prophet's Candle (old and new). And we have Hope. And we have this prophetic Advent challenge in a podcast episode from The Center for Action and Contemplation, Le...
Read more