Stranded on the Mainland: Inner Pilgrimage and Living Alone as a Spiritual Path:

I'm going to take a little break from blogging. The buds are out! The garden centre's setting up down the road. It's time to get my balcony ready. Checkout the compost. Go out for a walk. Take a look around me, even if certain buds I see, stir up memories, that make me want to cry. Or maybe I need to cry? To get those old trees, out of my eyes?   Amen naturedepths.com

Today is the Vigil of Divine Mercy Sunday and I have been struggling. Thank you LORD for pulling me out of the Queen's Park blog I was going down a "rabbit hole" writing. Thank you LORD for pulling me back up into the Vigil. Thank you Holy Spirit for the nudge to check Youtube for Sr. Gaudia's monthly talk, Evening with the Merciful Jesus .  (I have only ever seen it after it's been uploaded to Youtube). But tonight I clicked on the link and it was live! I was actually seven minutes early. I'm listening to Sr. Gaudia speak now. I'm listening to the wind blowing out there in the night. "When I contemplate this mystery, my heart falls into a new ecstasy, in silence I tell You everything. Lord, because the language of love is without words, not a single stirring of my heart escapes You." (Diary of Saint Faustina, Notebook V p532). I'm not struggling anymore; I am at peace, even with 57 wars raging around the world, including the one in Ukr...

War and trying to love everyone and everything.  It's really hard. I've been thinking alot about it this Easter; Ukraine, Covid, politics, climate change.  I am so tired of TV news (Merton was right). I am tired of wars inside and outside me. LORD help me.  I am so tired I can literally barely move. I hear the LORD say to my heart, "So be tired"! Remember peddle boating with your mum at the cottage? Remember realizing you had stopped peddling but your feet were still moving? That's what happening now.-- For both of you. Amen   unsplash Happy Easter!

Good Friday has officially been over for 3 hours.  I can't sleep. After deleting my Good Friday blog in frustration, I checked my email. There was an unexpected message from Dorothy Pilarski who runs an organization for Catholic moms.  As I read her long message, it becomes clear why I've been so frustrated with my Good Friday blog.  Why I deleted it. Because I'm afraid to feel the feelings I'm feeling this weekend.  I was planning to attend a funeral today.  But I'm afraid I will break down during the service, it hits too close to home and an old job.  (Rest in peace Don McMillan+) . Continuing, I wish I could get back the feeling of Jesus holding my hand while walking in the snow on Lawrence Avenue to Arz the other day. I would tell him I hate what's happening in the world. I would tell him that I'm tired, lonely, frustrated, and running out of gas with this Ptsd thing. I would tell him I sometimes think it would have been better if I'd died in that ca...

During Lent, I have been listening to thought-provoking contemplative talks by John O'Donohue, Thomas Merton, and Thomas Keating.  I was struck very deeply by three particular quotes from three of the different talks. Below, I have included those quotes and my immediate thoughts after hearing each one. I pray they do not distract from your own journey. "No amount of pondering will make it glow."   What Judas did. "Be glad God didn't give you what you thought you wanted." Amen! Different for each of us. "I was not fooling on the cross when I said I love you."   Something in me just shifted gears. I feel like Holy Thursday is the point in the journey where we shift gears.  Lent is over.  Now we're on the doorstep of Good Friday.  W e know what's going to happen and we don't have a clue. Amen

"Although we may not be aware of rituals, they weave themselves into the fabric of our days in one way that defines who we are as individuals. A definition of ritual can be a regular pattern of words or actions. The way we answer the phone or door, our favorite topics of conversation... they can range from life-enhancing to life-depleting."  (hprweb.com). Blessed 5th Sunday of Lent!  In a recent previous post, I included an interview link with the Irish poet, philosopher, and writer, John O'Donohue.   In that interview, there was a phrase that struck me.  It was something to the effect that, "contemplatives need daily rituals to stay grounded and sane" . Feeding my cat is a morning, midday, and evening ritual.  Her breakfast, lunch, and supper nudges a call to prayer. Her meow a monastery bell. Are our rituals life-enhancing or life-depleting? Maybe a good Lenten Question. Cb Amen  istockphoto.com   https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=MOx2fvK...

"What we need to foster, in ourselves and in others, is a contemplative outlook. Such an outlook arises from faith in the God of life, who has created every individual as a wonder. It is the outlook of those who see life in its deeper meaning, who grasp its utter gratuitousness, its beauty, and its invitation... ." (Loyolapress.com). Last week while listening to a favourite podcast I started sketching a picture of my morning tea mug.   Why? Because I was awed watching two Ahmad English Breakfast tea tags turning in the breeze against the side of my cup. Come to tea my friend and tell me what you know, I promise I will listen. (line from an old poem I wrote). Amen    unsplash