Stranded on the Mainland: Inner Pilgrimage and Living Alone as a Spiritual Path:

Today is New Years Eve and the vigil of the Solemnity of Mary the Mother of God . I just learned on the news that Betty White from the TV show Golden Girls has died.   She was 99 years old. Another Golden Girl I worked with at Ryerson University, Sandra Kerr, died this year too... in October. Both were genuinely good, funny, kind women. God bless them, bless all those they loved, all who worked with them, all those whose lives they touched, and all who mourn their loss. Thank you Sandra Kerr and Betty White. Happy New Year to all the Golden Girls I know and to my Alma Mater, Ryerson (now Metropolitan) University. Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with you. Amen NicePNG https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=84vC8dbvnes  

Today is the Feast of the Holy Family.   I have a holy unusual extended family!  We are scattered far and wide with gifts and issues aplenty. The word "unusual" reminds me of a wonderful conversation between two brothers in the 2005 movie, Millions, that I can really really relate to!   I will put the link at the end of this post.  Listen for the word "unusual" in the movie trailer below (you'll hear unusual at around minute 1:45).  God bless our wonderful, crazy, unusual families in 2022 and in the future. https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=QHcQF8LNvfE Amen unsplash

"Follow where the Joy is leading...  It is the sure sign God is alive in you!" Today is Christmas Eve.  It is also nine months to the day that I started blogging.  Nine months; the same number of months it takes for a child to grow and be born.  I continue to be amazed at how God works in my life, writing, and healing journey.  Thanks be to God! It's good to be back to blogging after taking a break.   Later tonight, I'm looking forward to 3 live Christmas Eve services.  The gift of proximity, laptop, time zones, and zoom making this possible.  I only wish they all came with turkey dinner. First is a Salvation Army service at 6:30 PM (in-person) with my neighbours in Scarborough. Second is an 8:30 PM East Coast mass (live-streamed) with my old pastor from Our Lady of Lourdes downtown... where I used to live.   Third is Midnight (zoom) Mass from my beautiful home parish of St. Basil's at the University of Toronto, with my Roman Cathol...

I am taking a break from my blog to spend some time with my journal in these days leading up to, into, and through Advent.   What a gift to have found this interview below with Katherine May, author of the book, "Wintering," just as I'm preparing to take a break.      https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=V9DXru9sgA I plan to start blogging again before Christmas. Or early in the new year.   Image credit nytimes.com

Today is the celebration of All Souls' Day.  "All Souls' Day, also known as the Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed and the Day of the Dead, is a day of prayer and remembrance for the souls of those who have died, which is observed by Roman Catholics and other Christian denominations annually on November 2."  (Wikipedia).  This post is dedicated to those I love who have passed away, and to those battling illness who are hopefully a long way away from departing just yet. As I post this blog the sun is just about to rise. No.  We do not lose hope. Amen Cb Image credit istockphoto.com 

I thought my blog for today was going to be about COP 26 and the climate conference in Scotland. But last night I had a dream that changed my mind. The dream was about a bar in my old Windsor neighbourhood and another bar at the "end of the world" (Key West).  Both bars make me think of the poet Hafiz. Hafiz writes about  bars / taverns being places where pilgrims meet, rest, share stories about their search for Love and God, and the desire for healing, forgiveness, and reconciliation Why am I thinking of Greta Thunberg and the Crash Landing in the Florida Keys. A poem to explain: KWF  Poem "A coral rock that stands alone Offering, promising Soothing, healing Whispering this could be Home. There is ink for the inspired Respite for the tired And warmth for a heart grown cold. Question the mystery, answer the sea Let the dream in yourself Drive all else-- reach the Western Key. Sparkling green and swelling sea Feed word after precious word to me. Splashes of wisdom roll on...

Tomorrow is Halloween, Happy Halloween!  It is also the 31st Sunday in OT.  No, not Overtime.  Ordinary Time.  A little joke-- I need some levity after last week.  And a change of soul scenery. I love stained glass windows. While looking for jack-o-lantern images for my Halloween blog, I came across this wonderful image of a stained glass pumpkin. I wondered why I was so drawn to this image? Then I remembered a Victorian Guest House I stayed at in the Florida Keys.  I wrote a poem about that guesthouse.  'The Guest House at the End of the World' was the original title I gave to the poem.  Later, I would change the title to the actual name of the Guest House-- The Chelsea House.  Now I'm changing it back. And I've shortened the poem to better reflect where I am in my journey today.  I hope you or someone you love takes this as happy permission to change, reclaim, or re-name something you need to.  The old conch house It welcomes all ...

I am a huge fan of the mystic, Julian of Norwich! For my 80th post, I want to share about this very amazing English hermit who lived, met with people, prayed, and wrote books in the 14th century in troubled times like ours.  Specifically, what I want to share is a 3-part video series I discovered deep in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic lockdown.  The series is called, "Wisdom In Times of Self-Isolation" , recordings by the contemplative scholar Stefan Reynolds (I think he's endearing!).  So whether you live alone or not, may these recordings be an occasion to reflect on wisdom gained, shared, and maybe sought still in these times of Covid isolation. Next. We are knocking-on-the-door of re-opening post-Covid. I feel both sad and nervous at the prospect of losing the "safety" of Covid lock-down. To be sure it is a good thing this pandemic is coming to an end.  Still, I will miss these times of collective quiet and solitude. I loved how the whole world slowed d...

Today, I plan to send my blog to the Ontario Green Party for review in connection with potentially seeking to become a candidate in the upcoming provincial election.  I suspect my blog will be considered too religious.  But maybe not?  That said, I want to find out before I continue with the application process.  For the past number of years I have been on a journey of hope and healing with the sisters of life.  Then, deep in the midst of the Covid-19 lockdown in Ontario, I started a blog about that journey.  My first blog post was about not renewing my social work registration for the upcoming year (2021).  Physically, emotionally, spiritually, ethically, mentally, and in every other way, I could not support a broken system anymore.   I wouldn't pay $325 to pretend I could for another year.  No. Continuing.  So if the Greens and I do go forward togethe, no doubt I will be faced with pro-life and pro-choice politics.  Not m...

Happy Thanksgiving!  There was a beautiful Impressionist style Monet sunrise over Scarborough this morning.  Lots of pale pinks and gentle light smudged into low clouds.  I could smell the oregano I planted on my balcony this summer still growing strong near my Mary Tree.  "I never stop thanking God for you. I always remember you in my prayers.” Ephesians 1:6.  I want to focus on just one thing I am grateful for this Thanksgiving.  But it's a big one.  It wraps it's arms around a lot of people and places.  I am grateful for the almost eight hours I spent at the ER in Scarborough General Hospital last week.  The highlight involved blankets!  I will explain in a moment.   A few posts ago I shared how I heard a wonderful funny Buddhist monk speak about the importance of "care vs. cure".  Turns out my time at the ER would teach me even more about "Care vs Cure".  Now hospitals are a big trigger for me.  Some of you...

Picture a crowded neighbourhood emergency room at Thanksgiving. Then imagine having a Merton "4th and Walnut experience" in that ER: a mystical moment, not outside on a busy Louisville street, but inside a busy hospital in the diverse neighbourhood where you live. This happened to me. From the moment I stepped into the hospital it was like my heart got plugged into everybody else's there. First I met a young woman, Darsheena. Turns out we would go through the whole ER process sitting together. At some point Darsheena asks me to watch her purse and phone when she has to 'pee in a cup.' It's amazing how trust can grow so quickly on vacations and in an ER. Next. I would have four pretty amazing, what I'm calling, 'blanket encounters,' before my night in the ER was over: My first blanket encounter was also with a woman I wound up going all the way through the ER journey with (except this woman was really "out-of-it" when we met). I learned sh...

Vigils are important in my Catholic Christian faith.   Stay with me, I will explain how they relate to my blog today.  Vigils are solemn, quiet, and very beautiful.  In stark contrast to how media and others often treat political figures. I'm thinking of how Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was judged for how he spent the inaugural National Day of Truth and Reconciliation. I also preface my blog today by saying that I would give the same support to any leader of any political party or religious affiliation if they were under fire in this situation.  Trudeau's trouble in Tofino reminds me of the bible verse about the woman caught in adultery.  The man caught on vacation?  "So when they continued asking him , he lifted himself up and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him be the first to cast a stone at her." (John 8:7) I'm also thinking of something St. Ignatius of Loyola might say here:  "We should look for a positive intent n...

Trauma, like Friday government press conferences, usually means losses and things we don't want people to know about-- but not always.  Sometimes there are wins and things we do want people to know about.  So for my blog today, I want to share three examples of recent trauma wins of mine with you: Feeling tears coming when learning the "Two Michaels" were coming home. For me, tears are wins. Feeling the breeze on my ankles, at the place between the bottom of my leggings and the top of my sneakers. Feeling surprise and curiosity at finding new "nature places" to discover and appreciate in my own "suburban mainland" neighbourhood.  Realizing I don't have to move somewhere else.  E.g., The East Coast or Parry Sound, or the tropics to find beautiful water, to be happy, at peace, and home.  These are some unexpected examples of recent trauma wins. Maybe you have your own examples? I hope to have more.  Check back for updates. Cb Amen Scarborough Bluffs ...

Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor are home on Canadian soil. Last night while working on the blog I thought I would post for today, CTV reported that the prime minister would soon be holding a press conference.  That press conference changed my blog for today. In my political experience, Friday press conferences usually mean one thing.  Bad news the government wants to try to bury.  But I felt different about this one. Reporters had been saying all day long yesterday that even if Huawei executive Meng Wanzhou was released from house arrest in Vancouver, it would still be months before the "Two Michaels" would be released from prison in China.  Reporters were certain the Chinese government would act as they had in the past.  E.g., Once they got what they wanted, wait to release political prisoners so as to try and save face.  Thanks be to God that's not what happened.  I am not one to cry easily.  But two things made me cry in the last 24 hours aro...

Yesterday was the Feast of St. Matthew and the day after the 44th general election in Canada.  I begin my blog today with the same opening sentence I wrote in a recent email to a Sister of Life friend.  The opening line was this: "I don't know why, but Matthew seems to be a good saint for the day after a federal election." After I finished my email to sister, I listened to the Sisters of Life Let Love Podcast.  It was spiritual balm after hours of listening to news commentators negative, judgmental, cynical election analysis and post-mortems.  As I listened to the sisters podcast, I slowly found myself willing to set aside my own judgment about the media and politicians. I found myself willing to wonder what makes them look at life this way? I could tell you the media and politicians are co-dependent.  Which is true, but not very affirming. Or I could take up the suggestion from the sisters awesome podcast:  "I could think about how the Lord might be...

On Friday I attended a Salvation Army funeral.  It was for a retired officer who I knew through once working with the Salvation Army.  It was very much like a Catholic funeral.  And not at all like a Catholic funeral too. Having said that, what I want to focus on in my blog today, is not so much the funeral, but on a quote shared during the funeral that really really struck me. I will give you the quote.  Then I'll give you a poem I wrote in the early 1990's that reminded me of the quote from the funeral. I am paraphrasing the quote from the funeral: "When someone dies, or is dying, it's like we are watching them sailing on a boat on the ocean.  Farther and farther away, until they slip over the horizon and we can no longer see them anymore.  There he goes, we'll say.  On the other side of the horizon they'll be saying, "Here he comes."  Here is the poem that reminded me of the funeral quote above: THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE At a little restaura...

It is three days after our federal English election debate in Canada. The debate format was criticized by many, but I loved it. Why? Because it had a crack in it, "for the light to get in " (Leonard Cohen).  That crack was Annamie Paul, the federal Green Party leader-- through her  a candle in the political darkness. Next. Is Green Party leader Annamie Paul a prophetic voice today? I think so. And we know how prophets are treated in their own home towns, “I tell you that no prophet is accepted in their home town " ( The Bible: Luke 4:24). Thank you Annamie Paul for your prophetic voice today. And there's still time to vote! Cb Amen https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=c8-BT6y_wYg Song Credit Leonard Cohen 

This week I was looking for a guided meditation on Youtube and I found some videos by the Australian Buddhist monk, Ajahn Brahm.  I was pleasantly surprised by what this funny monk had to say.  And I loved his meditation.  His talks I found to be unusual, helpful, and worth sharing.  Especially for those who may have suffered loss and trauma.  I'm also thinking how the Catholic American monk, Thomas Merton, was drawn to Buddhism later in life.  Merton's books are still some of my favourite spiritual reading. But back to Ajahn Brahm.  Listening to him speak sparked an insight for me around my long-standing question on whether trauma (my own or anyone elses) can be completely healed?  Ajahn Brahm was discussing exhaustion and social workers.  Interestingly, I am a former social worker.  I was completely taken with his talk and his "care vs cure" offering. I know people who have been cured of cancer who live in constant fear of it coming ba...

My post today flows from and connects to yesterday's written to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the Toronto Transit Commission (TTC).  It also connects to massive flooding this week in the Northeastern United States caused by remnants of Hurricane Ida.  Especially to awful images of a flooded New York subway system and stranded passengers.   It connects to my old fear of streetcars and subways when I first moved to Toronto in the 1980's.  It connects to the loss of my long-standing hotmail account after 20+ years.  Maybe you too can relate to one of these connections.  I hope so.  And I hope not. Let me continue by saying there was a beautiful sunrise this morning!  It caught the crystal heart hanging by my open balcony door.  I was deeply awed to see how it made two beautiful rainbows on my Mexico rug.  A double rainbow!!  "A double rainbow is considered a symbol of transformation... and in Genesis 9, a rainbow is part of...

Today is the 100th Anniversary of the Toronto Transit Commission (TTC). I offer a little reflection below to mark this momentous anniversary.  Here is the reflection:  My mother lived in Mimico when she was growing up in the 1950's.  She took the streetcar to work downtown at Helena Rubinstein's (a cosmetics company).  When I was young, I remember my mother talking about the "Humber Loop." In my young mind I thought it must be like a roller coaster-- and I'm afraid of roller coasters?   Maybe that's why later I was afraid of streetcars and subways? Unconsciously, maybe I thought of them as getting on roller coasters.   I wonder how my mother would feel today seeing people wearing masks on the Streetcar because of Covid?     She'd probably be as scared of streetcars as I was.   Happy 100th TTC!   Cb Long Branch and Humber Loop in the 1950's   Image credit chuckmantorontonostalgia.wordpress.com  

Yesterday was the Memorial of St. Augustine.  "Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you!"  (St. Augustine).   That said, I want to celebrate, balance, and build on the wonderful masculine energy of St. Augustine by sharing a deeply feminine dream I had on the vigil of his Feast Day.   Here is the dream:  I am at a convent.  I am coming to the end of a long session with the woman who is in charge.  She has to leave.  Then I am laying on the lap of another woman, like a child would.  This woman is also a nun. I do not know her but she is so familiar to me.  I feel a baby bump.  I realize she is pregnant.  But how can that be?  She is a nun!  She seems very happy and unconcerned.  I am so relaxed leaning against her.  Then I'm doing the dishes and wondering if I'll be asked to stay for supper.  (End of Dream). When analyzing this dream something interesti...

I love the TV show Sue Thomas F.B.Eye. Unfortunately it was cancelled a number of years ago.  When I was a kid I wanted to be Nancy Drew and solve mysteries and crimes.  I think that's why Sue Thomas appeals to me so much as an adult.  If I had it to do over again, I think I would have applied to work at the FBI!  It would have combined my sacred and secular love of solving mysteries. “One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day. —"Old Man's Advice to Youth: 'Never Lose a Holy Curiosity.'" LIFE Magazine (2 May 1955) p. 64” ― Albert Einstein. (goodreads.com). Last weekend I watched a Sue Thomas re-run that resonated deeply.  What struck me in this particular episode was how the parent of a clever, independent, 12-year-old deaf girl, resisted coming into their kid's world.  Instead,...