FRUITS OF CONTEMPLATION
To expand on the autobiographical Fairy Tale I alluded to in my last post: I began the Fairy Tale by saying that the main character hated going to sleep because she never had any big dreams. I didn't know what I meant by this in 1995, and in fact, for many years afterwards. The reason being, sometimes poets (and, Fairy Tale writers) don't know what they're saying, it comes through them. It is in this way I feel they are writing an inner mystery, and being given one to solve.
Next.
After years of carrying the above Fairy Tale in my heart, I had an important insight: The main character didn't hate going to sleep because she never had any big dreams, but
because she had bad dreams. She (I) had (and still have) horrible nightmares connected to narcissistic abuse and post traumatic stress. Writing a Fairy Tale was how my psyche protected me. On a lighter note, it was making lemonade out of lemons.
Speaking of making lemonade out of lemons, I wonder if running a lemonade stand is a kind of action and contemplation? A spiritual act of mercy in a warming climate? And what about "inner" lemonade stands!
Finally, this week I watched a video that made me question if the "budding young contemplative" in my 1995 Fairy Tale (Stranded on the Mainland) was really a contemplative, or an introvert at all? See video below: "Did The Narcissist Turn Me Into an Introvert?" Maybe it'll answer some questions for you too.
If you can bear with 3 commercials in 15 minutes, this is a refreshing and elucidating video, especially for us introverts!
