WHO AM I RETURNING TO GOD?

I have been listening to Julian of Norwich's book, Revelations of Divine Love.

With talk south of the border about conquering Greenland, I am filled with anxiety and anger. It reminds me of some family members, bosses, colleagues, and coworkers-- how I waited for the hammer to drop when there was an issue. I need to remember (even if I don't quite believe it right now) that love and not power conquers all. And I can know that when God made me he didn't fill me with anxiety and anger. He filled me with love. FULL STOP.

Continuing. Usually when I'm triggered like this (and threats to take Greenland have triggered me) I can say to myself: "breathe Carolyn, the same thing isn't happening now, it's just a memory-- granted a very bad one. Those who hurt you are not here, that predator boss and mean coworker aren't here either-- they can't hurt or bully you. Your home is secure, you are safe." But the frightening thing is it IS happening now. I turn on the news and see the American president bullying people in the U.S., in Canada, and world-wide, threatening their homes. The 'fiend,' as Julian would say IS here. The world is NOT safe. Kids at school in Minnesota are not safe, their father's aren't safe, their mothers and neighbours aren't safe. It's so crazy that I can feel crazy. My anxiety and anger are rising fast like water inside a house after a storm floods it …

now I'm under water, I'm barely hearing Revelations of Divine Love being read out-loud on YouTube (Librivox) …

but then something breaks through …

I'm above water again, thanks be to God, "the fiend has been overcome by the passion and death of Christ. The fiend is scorned and all the tribulation he brought to people will go with him to hell" (Julian). I am moving between Julian's middle English wisdom in 'Revelations of Divine Love' and Richard Rohr's in 'Falling Upward,' from CAC Living School course. Below are three phrases that stand out from my lectio this week… from each book.

Julian's:

shown in a touch of time

I stood in much part in unknowing

God is full near

Richard's:

a further journey

cross over points

who am I returning to God?

Lord, I want to return a me to you filled with your love and peace and freedom.

This is my focus now.

Cb
Amen

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