THE CORNER OF WARDEN AND LAWRENCE

There are many reasons to sob today: Wars, fear of losing loved ones, losing loved ones, climate change, hunger, pain, illness, abuse of power, crime, poverty, racism, politics. I could go on. Then one day, a couple of weeks ago, I'm on the bus. It's like a relay-race torch gets passed from 'all the darkness' in the world to an overwhelming love for everyone-on-the-bus. I'm having an experience like Merton's Fourth and Walnut Experience (thomas_merton_fourth_and_walnut.pdf).

Breathe. Here's the experience:

I live in a very diverse neighbourhood: Yesterday I was on the bus-- on my way to get some groceries for the weekend. I had to hold myself back from sobbing-- from years of grief and new joy pouring out. I was standing beside a very old Muslim woman... around my mother's age. She was dressed all in black with a veil, not unlike some old nuns I've known. She was rubbing her knee with her hand and I could tell by her face that it hurt. I tried to ask about her knee but she didn't speak English. I was holding onto the back of her seat and pointed to my own knee (wrapped in an tensor bandage). The old woman put her hand on my bare thigh, patting it and rubbing it up and down (I was wearing shorts and hadn't shaved my legs in a week). I flash back to my mother making a disgusting face when she had to shave my leg after a cast came off years ago at the cottage. -- Breathe. I feel the warmth of the Muslim woman's hand on my skin-- she's smiling, there is no trace of disgust on her face. My eyes fill up with tears, that's when I feared I'd start sobbing in front of everyone on the bus and they'd think I was crazy. Thinking of Gaza, I put my hand on the old Muslim woman's shoulder and pat her hijab, like she patted my bare leg. How could anyone be disgusted by someone like "us?" Generational disgust of women's bodies? Moments for healing can come at unexpected times. I hope some part of the love that passed between the Muslim woman and me on the bus, reaches all the way to my mother too.

It is never so clear to me as now (until I forget again), that we are all on the bus together-- that,

"through closeness to suffering, we are pulled out of our heads and into our hearts and sobs."

Cb

Amen

💕

Quote:Richard Rohr, Dancing While Standing Still

for

Barbara and Shannon Champ!