DEFICTIONALIZING FAILURE

Once upon a time I wrote a Fairytale about a young girl's Big Dream to change her troubled, dysfunctional family into a loving and supportive one (ACA).  She failed for the most part.
 
With both Fairytale and ACA on my mind, I want to share some excerpts from the book, Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfunctional Families (Chapter 8):

  • We reach adulthood believing we failed, unable to see no one can stop the traumatic effects of family alcoholism and dysfunction.
  • We go forward in life by knowing where we came from and how we survived to get there.
  • We can restage (and reclaim) our childhood and teen years with gentleness by being a Loving Parent to ourselves.
  • We do not fictionalize our childhood (make it a fairytale), but we take the time to see how vulnerable, courageous, and loving we were as children.
This is defictionalizing failure.
 
I think I'll stop here.
imagecredit:Creator: Appleing | Credit: Appleing // Shutterstock
Loving Parent  |  Self Compassion
Amen

Popular posts from this blog

STOPPED IN MY TRACKS

Image
SANTA SUBITO. Deep breath. Yesterday I learned in the best and gentlest way possible that my friend Gabbie passed away on January 12, 2025. It was Gabbie who encouraged me to start blogging during Covid-19 lockdowns in Toronto. I want to say more about my friend Gabbie and our connection through the Sisters of Life, but not right now. My heart is too full of love and joy and grief, and honestly just awe. I'm stopped in my tracks for now... I heard a song today during  Canada Day  celebrations that made me think of Gabbie. It's  I Believe in You , by Amanda Marshall:  Bing Videos . Gabbie believed in me and she loved Jesus so much-- both of which I benefitted from so much. Thanks Gabs💕 I don't know whether Gabbie will be put forward as a potential Catholic saint, I hope so. Gabbie and I actually never met in person but we shared the same taste in boots and hats. Our friendship began through an extraordinary snail mail adventure in the middle of covid lockdowns, it de...
Read more

MAKINGS OF A GOOD PRODIGAL DAUGHTER STORY

As I continue to sit with the question of whether or not to wrap up my blog at the end of the summer, I sit also with the story of the Prodigal Son . And like in the Prodigal Son , my blog  Stranded on the Mainland has it's roots in the loss of and longing for, home. Below are some mid-August thoughts on this: WHAT IF the daughter didn't want to leave home like the prodigal son did, what if she was sent to the city? What if she doesn't squander her "inheritance" at all, but is (unbeknownst to most, including herself) is amassing a treasure, a fortune, and spiritual inheritance, "one that protects her from nothing and sustains her in everything."--Jim Finley. WHAT IF it's the daughter who through therapy and grace brings back a new robe for her traumatized self to put on, a ring for her finger, and sandals for her feet? WHAT IF it's the daughter who's preparing the roast beef dinner? And the daughter rushing down the road to meet her true sel...
Read more

OPPOSING VALUES AND ADVENT HOPE

Image
Today I'm realizing something I never considered before: "How I as a straight, white, Christian woman-- being treated with fairness can feel like oppression." Wow. And flipping this over-- how oppression and mistreatment can feel like fairness and love. Wow. With that said, the prophetic talk below is not one I would typically think of as an Advent talk, but it is-- especially in 2025 in this world full of people who oppose each other's values. American democracy is bleeding out; now Canadian environmental guardrails are sadly beginning to fail. For those of us with e yes to see and ears to hear , this is a time of clashing and crashing values-- if our values were being traded on the stock market it would be 1920. We don't know where all this worldly chaos is heading, it's true. But we have the Prophet's Candle (old and new). And we have Hope. And we have this prophetic Advent challenge in a podcast episode from The Center for Action and Contemplation, Le...
Read more