HEALING RELATIONSHIP PTSD

Tomorrow we celebrate the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes and I have already received the gift of a healing grace.

It came in the form of an expanded understanding of trauma connected to what researchers are calling, Post traumatic Relationship Syndrome (PTRS).

The healing came when I understood how natural and normal it is that my fight, flight, freeze responses would still happen in certain situations with people.

If anyone becomes impatient, irritated, judgmental with you for going slow as you heal-- their impatience, irritation, and judgment are not your responsibility.

This is what I tell myself now.  And that I am a beloved daughter of God who loves me just as I am. 

I want to share a long quote below in case it is helpful:

"When we suffer abuse or neglect in relationships, our brain registers that relationships can be dangerous. If we process and integrate what happened to us, then trauma in relationships can make us wiser. It can help us learn to be more discerning, cautious, protective, and assertive. It can help us learn how to trust skillfully. If we don’t process and integrate what happened and heal our hurt and shame, relational trauma can cause us to avoid intimacy out of fear of being hurt again or a belief that we are not lovable and worthy of intimacy. Alternatively, some people retraumatize themselves by once again engaging with hurtful or neglectful people out of a compulsion to undo past trauma or because being hurt is familiar and something one unconsciously feels one deserves in relationships.” –  Dr. Michael McGee (choosingtherapy.com).

The above resonates.

Amen

drawing by me

 


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